What If No One Believes Me?

This simple phrase puts into words one of a survivor’s biggest fears: what if no one believes me? Survivors have already lived through more pain than some can even fathom, and being told you are a liar only adds to that pain. Unfortunately, some survivors will never come forward due to this fear.

It’s been nearly a year since I reported my case to my Title IX Coordinator, and this is still one of my biggest fears. It’s a fear that haunts me to this day. Unfortunately, two nights ago, someone sought to make this fear come true. I received this comment on my original blog post:

“I am so disappointed in you Natalie, this post is a complete lie. Please don't lie and frame a poor innocent boy. Don't be that girl who post lies just for attention. everyone knows exactly who you are talking about because you gave a time when it happened. you wanted to frame this boy and embarrass him. What people don't know is the truth. The truth that he never sexually assaulted you, he merely broke up with you and you couldn't handle that and had to take revenge and ruin his reputation. I am not someone very close to him but i was present while all of this was going on and know the truth and everyone else should. stop begging for attention you are only embarrassing yourself and making yourself look like a shitty person for everyone who knows the truth. I just hope that you grow up and never make a poor guy your victim ever again you attention whore.”  

Ouch. I found the lack of grammar in this comment appalling, but that’s beside the point. When I read this comment I was shocked and crushed. I’m not sure what hurt me more: the words that were said, or the fact that someone genuinely believes this about me.

The more I thought about it, however, the more I realized that it doesn’t matter. The fact is that people are going to believe what they are going to believe, and there is nothing that I – or anyone else for that matter – can do to change it. People will say and believe what they want about you.

I can’t stress enough that what others believe and say about you doesn’t reflect on who you are as a person at all; it reflects upon who they are. Often times, you have nothing to do with what’s being said. For many people, it stems from a lack of confidence and love for themselves – not from anything you have done.

You have to realize that there are always people who will doubt you and try to discredit you, but in reality, they are powerless. You are the one who knows the truth, not them. They weren’t there, and they have no real way of knowing what happened.

With this being said, cast this fear aside: become fearless. The less you care what others think, the freer you will feel. Nothing can take away what you have lived through: not what anyone thinks, says, or does. Go on fighting fearlessly, and know that the truth and light will always win.